lonely guy.

Monday, March 31, 2008

I'm never loved..

I'm never treasured..

I'm never appreciated..

I'm worthless..

The things i do are never deemed as right..

I'm lost..

Living in this world of reality and cruelty..

With a pierced heart bleeding deep inside me..

I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life..

I had enough of the pain and torture..

Even if I'm leaving this world...

The world still revolves without me..

With one lesser burden..

No one is gonna be sad..

No one is gonna miss me...

Life still goes on as per normal....

Therefore..

God..

Will you take me away with you..

To a NeverLand..

Some where I can find my comfort..

Please..

Take me away..

posted at 9:08 AM

How am i feeling these few days?

Sad to say.. Still the same..

Lonely..

and.. Bored..

Yesterday..

I accompanied my father to some place to eat lunch.. Then went to visit my grandparents.. Had dinner there.. My stupid psp battery went flat.. Zzzz.. So i was like staring into blank air all the while.. The game "crisis core: final fantasy VII" is quite exciting n nice.. Storyline was quite well written.. Definitely a recommended game!

As for Today..

Went Kowloon tsim sha tsui for breakfast.. A real hearty breakfast.. Afternoon we went to see the optician.. As my stupid sister claims that her old specs is too ugly and wants to change a new one.. BLAH! BIASED! GRRRRR! Nothing much already.. I know my life is dull n boring.. =(

*HEY! Anyone miss me?*

Sad that here in hk.. no one goes out with me.. I really miss those hanging out man.. Now im like behind bars.. stuck at home... Sigh.. =(

No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you

posted at 4:16 AM

Friday, March 28, 2008

Nowadays.. I'm really sad.. especially these few days..

My mum and I had frequent arguments that always ended up with a cold war.. No one here cares for me or understand me.. I felt so empty, lonely, cold and sad..

I couldnt sleep at night cos I was just too sad and many negative thoughts were running wild in my head..

Life is indeed terrible, horrible and miserable. Ever since i came back to HK, I've never tasted sweetness before..

I really miss my friends in Singapore..

It has been a week since I left you people..

Now that I am all alone..

I wish that time can reverse... to those days we had so much fun together..

But i know its impossible..

We gotta move on our separate ways..

Yesterday, I couldnt sleep.. It was 6.00am.. I was damn depressed.. Wanted someone to talk to.. I held my phone.. wanted to call you guys in SG.. but my phone isnt registered to do so.. It got me more depressed.. I've got no one to talk to.. =(

Now all i could wish for is someone who i can talk to.. someone who cares or understands me.. someone who can spend their time with me..

Would you answer my prayer? =(

But will like to thank oscar for attempting to cheer me up.. Thanks!

posted at 5:51 AM

Thursday, March 27, 2008

This morning(27th March), my mum n i took a cab to the south island sec.. The school was WOW.. An indoor swimming pool located rite inside the school.. I guess those kids there are BLOODY RICH.. They take taxi home from school.. WTH!! RICHIES!! $_$

Then we went in the general office.. At first i thought that indian sitting over at the counter was a girl.. But when i got closer then that indian asked "Good morning.. may i help you?" WTF! Its a male sissy voice! GOSH! That indian is a male.. He is like damn sissy.. the way he speaks will send shivers down your spine.. I can confirm he is gay.. = = What a "nice" person they have choosen to be the counter.. I submitted my form n he told us that we can leave... Phew..~

Pray hard that they will accept me.. but i need to go through interview before i get accepted.. X_X

Took a bus after that.. The bus interval is like 30min!! OMG! O.O Its because the school is located on the hill/mountain.. Not much people living there.. Even there is.. Its those high class richies who own like a few cars in those bungalows.. Causing the demand for bus to be low..

Around noon time, we went to tai koo.. My mum bought 2 shirts for my sister from G2000, its like bloody expensive man.. BIASED! =( Headed for jusco later to eat.. I was real hungry that time.. My mum said she need to go to the washroom.. so i sat down on one of the seats n waited.. n waited.. n waited.. waited for quite some time.. then she came back with her bowl of noodle! WTF! I've been waiting for her so long.. my stomach have been growling so long to wait for her to come back from toilet! N WHAT!? She actually went to buy her own food without me.. I was damn angry n confronted her.. In the end.. of cos i lost.. parents are always "right".. they are "NEVER WRONG".. Haiz..

Other than that.. Nothing special about today.. Im really bored.. =(

SOMEONE DATE ME OUT PLEASE!! TAKE IT AS A BEG OR WHAT SO EVER.. = =

I miss my friends in Singapore.. =(

Idontknowwhyiammissingyoubutyoudontseemtocareaboutmeatall

posted at 9:30 AM

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Im seriously damn bored.. = =

My everyday rountine is like... Wake up at 12 noon.. Brush teeth and wash face.. then i will sit down... open my physics textbook and stare blankly at it..

After staring for an hour or so.. i'll eat my lunch.. = = and continue my bloody staring game till 5.30..

5.30 is the time for inhaling some fresh air.. I'll go down to the park n jog for a while.. Hopefully it will help me to work off those FATS..

6.30 cantonese news..

7.30 english news...

ARGH.. gimme a break!

Im seriously fuking bored... Someone date me out please.. T_T

Tmr my mum n i will be going to the south island esf school to hand in the application form.. I'm worried that they will like interview me straight away.. DAMN SCARED LA.. It is said that interview is definitely a must, but dunnoe when.. They may even need me to sit for examination.. Oh Gosh.. Hope i will make it.. If not.. I can say goodbye to my future.. PRAY HARD THEY WILL ACCEPT ME.. x_x Must pray for me too!

To anonymous( if you ever read my blog): you're really special! ; ) All the best to you.. Rmb dont shake your leg! =X Take cares..

Here are some photos taken on that little bday celebration..

posted at 7:47 AM

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

To you..

You're too late to realize you are wrong.. Its too late to regret.. Its too late to change.. Its too late for everything.. I had ENOUGH of you!

I will never forget how you treated me.. I will never forgive you.. NEVER.. There are just too much scars on my heart.. And I dun need you to mend it.. GET LOST!

I really HATE you!

You dont have to do anything for me to forgive you.. Cos its USELESS.. Stop daydreaming that i will forgive you..

Stop pestering my friend to find out about my conditions.. Acting like you are so kind n caring.. It really makes me wanna puke.. So what if you know? It doesnt make any purpose.. ITS JUST TOO LATE!

You are really irritating..

Stop interfereing with my life.. Im NEVER yours.. Go away... SHOOX!

posted at 6:09 AM

Sunday, March 23, 2008

ytd i went to visit my grandparents with my family... nothing much actually..

Today went to tsim sha tsui with my parents to yum cha with my aunt n her daughter ( my cousin). My parents have been complaining about my dieting habit.. but I still got that small tummy.. thats why i still need to slim down!! After that I went to have a hair cut at Jordan...

Let you all have a look at my new hair...

At night..i followed my sister to her friend's bday celebration in causeway bay.. I was damn bored n i seriously feel damn EXTRA.. Like its not my friends.. n i think i have serious social problem.. =/ I kept quiet the whole dinner.. plus i cant really catch what they say.. Argh.. im slow.. I kept watching my watch for the time.. Praying hard for the time to past faster so i can go home.. =X Later we went world trade centre to take some neoprint.. my sister wanted it.. BORING....

I still miss you all loads... Come hk to visit me please.. ='(

posted at 9:32 AM

Friday, March 21, 2008

Now im back in hk.. Feeling so sad n lonely.. I’ve got no friends here.. I’ve got no one to talk to.. No one to hang out with.. No one is gonna care for me.. I held that handphone tightly.. Wanted to msg my friends as usual.. ARGH.. I cant msg.. I really miss those sms-ing days.. Hearing that “receive msg” tone.. Haiz.. I guess no one will understand how I feel..

20th March.. Thanks Rachel, Ceputra, Si Hui, Kwang Hong, Sian Ru( He is having a fever), Yi Jing, Wei Neng, Cheryl for turning up at the dinner at popeye.. The fries is seriously damn nice! Too bad.. That may be the last time I gonna eat it.. We posed for quite some photos! Thanks God wei neng brought his camera.. I lost my SD card the day before.. T_T

21st March.. Leekat, Cheryl n Kaiming came overnight with me.. They so good sia.. I’m so touched! I was so high at night.. And they were like so tired.. Dark Panda eyes.. =X Walked from terminal 1 to Terminal 2.. Cos Leekeat n Cheryl were graving for Mac Hotcakes.. = = We keep chatting till 3am.. Then kaiming was damn tired n took a cab back home to sleep.. Anyway thanks for coming to ton with us! You’re really great! =D Then we walked back to terminal 1.. Cos leekeat n Cheryl wanna go back to terminal 1 to sleep.. LoLx.. I was still very high sia.. No need to sleep..

It was time to leave….

Yap ah ma, Eileen mammy, Cerlyn, Madeline, Wei Neng, Yi Jing, Wee Ting n Samuel came to send me off.. ( of cos Cheryl n leekeat were there too) Waaa.. Thanks for coming! I am very touched.. =’) It was like early in the morning 6.00am... Not everyone can wake up so early just to send a friend off..

We took our last pictures together…

I’ve gotta go…

The last hugs…

Those tears in our eyes..

Those memories in our hearts..

Though its farewell..

I believe its not the end..

Its fate that allowed us to meet..

So I believe in fate once more that it will allow us to meet again…

We bidded farewell in sadness n pain..

I was torn apart..

Broken down..

I wont forget the days we had together..

Friends are Friends forever..

A lifetime is not too long to live as friends..

I’ll miss you all lots..

Reached hk at around 11am.. Took a cab back home.. N went to clubhouse for lunch.. Visited my grandma during the afternoon.. I told my mum I wanted to eat dinner outside cos I have not eating those hk food for quite some time.. She scolded me at once “you think we veri rich ar? May be we gonna sell this house just to pay your school fees!” OKAY! FINE! DUN EAT LO! DUN EAT ANYTHING! YOU HAPPY? BIG DEAL!

N my mum confiscated my laptop.. she gave it to my sister.. Haiz… I was seriously damn sad n bad mood man.. So I went down to the sea side just below my house for a walk.. Trying to cool myself down.. Thought of my friends in Singapore.. Tears started to fall again.. I REALLY MISS YOU ALL MAN! =’( No one is gonna comfort me already.. Im learning this self-consoling.. Haiz… Life is terrible without friends around you…

Missing you all…

posted at 11:14 PM

Monday, March 17, 2008

Have not been blogging for the past few days... Let me try to recall what i have done for the past few days... =/

14 march 2008

Went out with yijing, leekeat, weineng and sianru to vivocity! I skip my lunch on that day cos they all dun want to eat.. then i also didnt eat lo.. cos i wanna jian fei too! =X We went arcade to play, but i didnt spend a single cent. Hahas.. No money to play arcade la! Save money to study! = = Leekeat n weineng are both pro in crisis 2! their aiming damn good lo.. If i have half of their skill i veri happy already! Hahas.. Later we all gathered n sit down to play the spot-the-difference game.. It is seriously difficult okay.. But all of us not bad la! Especially wei neng! We went to watch JUNO.. the movie quite nice la.. but got some "dirty" scenes.. Make sian ru "open" his appetite... LOLX!!! XD

After that weineng, yijing and sianru went home. leekeat and me went to eat KFC... talk talk... then jiu go home le...

15 march 2008

Met up with galvin first, then valerie, leekeat, shuhui, kailing. went to east coast park. went to eat at macs first while we chatted. Shu hui lead us to east coast park sia.. So pro.. We walked through some quiet quiet void decks.. I thought she was taking kailing to sell sia.. Hahas.. cos sell kailing sure got lots of $$$.. 4 ppl in the family work to support kailing leh! Kailing sure worth the most! XP

In mac, leekeat n galvin share a meal.. Waaa... so sweet.. =X They were gossiping about someone's "TUCK IN".. LOLX!! =X After that we went to the beach n build some sand mountain and a damn sexy human figure shape( thanks to leekeat who started with shaping those 2 round hills)! Xue er was late!! Went cycling since kailing strongly insisted it.. in the end seems like someone cycle damn damn slow sia.. LoLx.. = =

Happy birthday to yijing! hahas..

posted at 7:07 AM

Friday, March 14, 2008

Ytd went to Tampines mall again to meet some of my fellow griffiths primary 6/2 classmates! We met outside seoul garden.. I was late sia.. But jefferson even later! Hahas.. Shazlin, Clifton, Gary, Ting Hui n Jefferson came for lunch.. They didnt change much actually.. Still as youthful, smart n friendly as ever! XD SO many went into good jc like vjc n tjc sia.. Aisha 2 pointer! Damn smart lo! Find myself so stupid.. T_T

Its kind of funny to see them again lo.. Hahas.. Got a weird weird feeling.. Dunnoe how to describe.. =X but its veri funny la! We keep talking about our classmates.. How they are now.. SOme funny stuff that happened during primary school.. Make me keep laughing sia.. XD Gary's reaction was so dramatic whenever his hands get scorched by those oil.. XD

Clifton, Gary, Shazlin, Ting Hui, Me and Jefferson @ Seoul Garden

After that we met javier, garner n wahida(i hope i spell her name correctly.. =X)! Then we keep touring around n went to the outdoor space area, sat down n have a chat.. Gary lie down on the floor n sleep.. then we ps him there n quietly run out.. LOLX!! It was ting hui's idea... I'm innocent.. =X but he woke up after a short time.. lolx.. Jia Jun joined us later.. He looks a little ah beng lo.. He only came to join us after his date with some njc girls.. = = So pro sia.. Then we walked around tm.. N eventually had dinner at Kfc.. Saw Aisha there! She was complaining aobut ashpenn for daoing her ever since he went vs.. XD Jj's ic keep on getting missing.. LOLX!!! Damn funny la.. XD

Actually we planned this outing on the same day at 2 plus am! LoLx.. Consider it quite a success! Sorry for the short n sudden notice too.. Anyway thx for turning up on that day n thx for the farewell gift too! Special thx to shazlin for organizing it. =) I wont forget my primary school friends too! I believe our friendship will last forever! All the best to you all! Stay cheerful old friends! =)

*happy birthday mad!~*

posted at 11:38 AM

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Ytd nite i went long john with cerlyn, samuel, ah ma.. Then mammy n cs were late! Long time never see them liaos.. Cerlyn is already attached lo! Wheeees~ Hahas..we wait for them til we so hungry la! Grrrr.. n that gir l at the ocunter takes her order damn slow la.. Ah ma n i were so angry with her! But long john food seriously not bad.. Had golden deal 3 ( chicken + prawn)! Hahas..

This photo was taken without permission.. Cerlyn eating fish! =X

After that we went mini bits ( i dun know the correct speling).. And they keep choosing this one that one, took a long time to buy enough stuff to get a membership card..

After that we went to the bus stop opposite tamp mall to meet kh, nic, mad n si hui! Kh veri nice, he bought a chocolate ice cream cake from swensens for the three bday girls sia! We walked through those void decks to find a place to cut that cake, but we eventually still gone to ah ma's void deck to cut the cake..

Waaa.. Sam wan burn my mammy... =X

LoLx.. Sam poses for cam... Cerlyn! this photo i take for you de! XDEh Ah ma! Dun play with fire! DAngerous!Why are those hands together? Lolx.. ah ma told me to delete this photo scared cerlyn sue her with this pic.. but i didnt... =X

The beautiful n delicious cake! =)

lighting the candle and preparing to cut the cake~

YEAH! All the candles finally light up! thx to ah ma! Ah ma light candle damn pro lo! XD

Birthday girls blowing the candles~

Mammy damn strong sia.. Chop that ice cream cake into pieces.. the cake looks so artistic lik that! hahas! XD

The last photo~ Samuel not in pic cos he took this picture for us.. Sorry sam.. Gonna miss you all loads too.. kh, nic, si hui, mad, me ,yap (ah ma), cerlyn, eileen(mammy)... All the best to you all! Stay cheerful always! =) I wonder when will the next time we gonna meet again... ='( Sorry cerlyn n ah ma.. Didnt have time to teach you all cantonese.. I promise i will teach you all when you come hk or when i come back for holiday k? YOU ALL MUST COME HK DURING HOLIDAY K? MUST HOR! I BE YOUR FREE TOUR GUIDE! =]

posted at 10:30 AM